i've officially been living in LA for two years now and tbh i have very polarized feelings about it. while i absolutely love this city, the weather, the blend of suburban life and city life, and being close to my family, my time here is been a true test of persistance. my life tends to have a 2 - 2.5 year cycle of living in one city and now is about the time i typically reevaluate where i've been and decide whether i should stay or whether its time to go. 

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i commuted to LA for about a year and a half before i made the move to LA because i was EXTREMELY hesitant about living here. i was still in the influencer industry at the time and we all know LA is notorious for social climbing, backstabbing, fake-it-till-you-make-it, individuals who will stop at nothing to get what they want. and that TERRIFIED me because i don't operate like that. i know that what's meant for me will never miss me. even when i have moments of doubt i know things always end up working out for me in the end. but experiencing the industry first hand, seeing the cliques that i'll never be apart of, the brand sponsorships i could only dream of, the entitlement that came with instagram numbers, and having negative external opinions of the city in my ear made me question my sanity. like, what the actual fuck was i doing here? 

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for the past two years i've literally kept my head down, stayed in my lane, spent the majority of my time alone for fear of opening up to people and getting fucked over. I'm a lone wolf by nature so this wasn't difficult, actually its been quite peaceful. as much as i've needed this time to gain clarity, perfect my craft, build my confidence, and discover my worth, i've realized I've been hiding my talents and gifts in a city that inherently is meant for us to see and be seen. and tbh idk why we as society have given that concept such a negative connotation. why are we* so afraid of showing up in a world that wants us to show up for it?

so yes, while LA may have one of the worst reputations in the world as an over populated city crawling with opportunistic, two-faced, socialite wannabe, gold-digging humans (of course there is reason for that), isn't it about time we stop feeding that toxic ideology? just because someone has a piece of the pie doesn't mean it takes away from your own. i came across an instagram post from Jenna Zoe and how she redefined jealousy as your higher self trying to tell you that you too can have whatever is evoking that emotion or maybe that person is an expander/inspiration for you. that transmuted definition completely changed how i view jealousy. now if only i could DM that post to everyone living in LA lol.

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so that's the inspiration behind this edit - a paparazzi-esque photoshoot representing a city of creatives with big dreams and talents to match, showing up to see and be seen because you never know who is looking at you as a muse.